That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
