I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I haven't been this sober since birth.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i came on her dog
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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