It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
