Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
