wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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