A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize