Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
