I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
