this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
