mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
