he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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