Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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