You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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