I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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