The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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