508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
