The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
