Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
