He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
