Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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