Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I party with great urgency now.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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