So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize