Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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