Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
