I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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