if i can run in heels then i can drive
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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