Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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