can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
