your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
