I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
