if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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