You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
