Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw a hot homeless man
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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