How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish I only lived at night.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
