I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
