from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
one might say we're banned from that church
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
