I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize