why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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