if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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