In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
