I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
