batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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