Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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