my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
