Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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