I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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