Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
