I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
