Your dad touched me again.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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