The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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