I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
