all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
