Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize