Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
