And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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