your room smells of hookers.
And success
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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