how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
