Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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