Duck Duck Cougar?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All I want is dick and wine.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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