I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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