Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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